I bought this dress this weekend from Express (to be my going-away dress.) I might return it, but less because I don't like it and more because I might not need a going away dress.
This post was going to come out months ago. It was going to talk about how crazy excited I was to have found a diet and exercise combo that worked for me, how I finally remembered that I can like the way I look in clothes. And that its all up to me, with no possibility of pointing the finger at someone else. And most amazingly, that if I do follow a diet + exercise plan, the extra weight I was carrying did actually leave my body.
Then I went through a deadline, and I ate a little badly, and I had to skip some workouts, and then I followed it up by eating out a few nights in a row due to some wedding errands. And I started to get paranoid, started to feel like every time I bent the rules of the diet I was going to inflate back up like a balloon.
So now, as I write this post, I feel like I have a little more perspective on how I need to approach my healthy size goals, forever. Because obsessing didn't help me, and in many smaller ways I felt that it actually did more damage, by allowing me to regress into the mindset of, "well, I've blown it now, may as well."
No. Because even though I have put 2 or 3 lbs back on from my lowest, before the dealine, I have still lost 17lbs. My weight has I'm doing right now is fine, and I need to stop worrying. I have gone back to wearing size 6 dresses. I still have a healthy butt, and large thighs, but that's the way I look.
Besides, those large thighs are useful when I am trying to punish Brandon with roundhouse kicks in kickboxing class.*
*Speaking of which, at class on Thursday I think he finally tried kicking close to full power, and it almost took my arm off. That boy has some serious leg strength.